Feb 17, 2009

a couple weeks ago, my grandfather died unexpectedly. yesterday i found out that my cat may die soon of kidney failure. i had such high hopes for 2009, &, in some ways, it really isn't going well. i feel like i'm just starting to heal a little bit from my grandpa's death, & now i have this new sad thing to deal with.

i have two cats: kate & bob. they are sisters. we thought that bob was a boy when we first got them way back when they were tiny kittens, & the name stuck even after we found out that she's a girl. she's receiving treatment for a urinary tract infection at the vet right now. if that's successful, it may relieve some of the pressure on her kidneys & it may buy her some time. if it's not successful, she may die by the end of the week.

when we got the cats, we decided that kate would be my cat and bob would be my brother's cat. however, the cats apparently did not agree to this arrangement, & bob chose me to be her person and kate chose greg. so while i still have a cat, i'm losing my kitty. it's just so hard to think that soon we might have to have her put to sleep. i can't decide if i want to be there or not. i guess it would be good closure; i can cry my eyes out & get it all out of my system at the vet instead of having it leak out in little crying jags at random times. some people might say 'it's just a cat,' but our cats are part of our family. because i am currently unemployed, i spend most of the day hanging out at home while my parents are at work. one of the hardest things has been listening to kate walk around the house crying & looking for bob. i hope we aren't headed for a 'where the red fern grows' situation wherein kate follows shortly behind her sister in death out of loneliness & heartbreak. i really hope that was just put into the book for dramatic effect. anyway, we won't know anything all that definite about bob until her treatment is complete in a couple days. hopefully she will get to come home & have a little more time before we have to let go.


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